It Never Ended
by Mayumi
Summary: MitKo. need I say more?


Title: It Never Ended 

Part: 1/1

Author: Mayumi

Genre: Yaoi? Shouned-Ai? I don't know? Romance? Angst? Drama? I don't know? ^^;;; something to that effect... ^^ 

Pairing: Hm… MitKo! whoohoo!! 

Rating: ^^;;; PG? 

Archive: FFN

Email: mayumi.chan@email.com

Warning: OOC! YESH! OOC!!! wahahahahaahahaa... *runs around in circles* and the stupidity of the whole thing will make you wanna flame me... but... flame away!! ^_____^ 

Disclaimer: SD is not owned by me. ^^ As is. Ha.ha. 

AN: hmm... this has been re-edited... ^^ er... re-written actually. ^^ It's still not all that but I think it's a better version ne? ^^;; so it's not good. but then... ^^;;; nothing from me is ever good. uhm... ^^;;; yeah... for... Kimi-nee? ^^;;; *sighs* ^__^ 

Kogure's POV

He left me that day.

He left me and it hurt.

I couldn't believe how much it could hurt.

But then, I knew it would hurt. I knew loving would hurt. I knew that it would hurt me fatally, I knew that it would make my world stop turning, it would make ME stop living. 

But I still couldn't believe how much it could really hurt. 

It felt like a sword stabbing my heart multiple times, a thousand lightning bolts thundered, striking me, my heart being wringed out of all the blood it possesses, then crushing it with a stiletto's heel, pulling me even deeper into the abyss. I can not understand how anyone can feel that way, I can not understand how anyone can make anyone feel like this with a few, but painful words. 

I'm sinking. 

Now, all I know is that I must forget, that I have to forget if I want to live through my life. But, it's so hard to forget... why? Why could he do this to me? Why... did he have to break me like this? Was I not enough for him? 

A million questions running through my head and I couldn't find the answers. It hurts so much... 

My mind wanders towards the happenings of the hour past. Maybe... thinking about it would... make me understand... 

_.:~[Flashback]~:._

_ " No, I'm leaving Kogure and there ain't nothing you can do about it," Mitsui told me as he was looking coldly at my face, his baggage was already gone, he already moved his stuff out, he did not even spare a single belonging, except the ring that I gave him. _

_ " Can't we talk about it?" I asked him quietly, trying not to sound desperate but my voice betrayed it, I was holding back sobs and I knew that he knew it too. _

_ He looked at me coldly, his eyebrow raised, "What is there to talk about when there are no more words to be exchanged?" And as I heard his icy voice, I knew he meant it and I just wanted to keel over and die but I looked straight into his face. _

_ " You said you loved me Hisashi! You can't just come and take those words back," I said, trying to make sense of what he was telling me, my head was spinning, I couldn't understand, why was it so hard to understand? _

_ "We need to break up, I don't love you, I never did. I never cared, I only wanted you for the sex. If you haven't noticed, you have a hot body. And I have had my fill. I don't need you anymore, you're boring me," my eyes widened as he uttered those words. No, it can't be true... he's lying. _

_ "You're lying..." I managed to whisper. _

_ "This is the only time I've ever told the truth," and he left with a smirk on his face. _

_ I sank down on the couch trying to stop the sobs that were wracking my whole body, telling myself to be strong. But it didn't work and all I could hear were my own cries and I couldn't help thinking how deafening they really were. _

_.:~[End Flashback]~:._

I could feel fresh tears running through my cheeks, it didn't help. And... even though the scars weren't so new anymore... it still hurt. 

Mitsui's POV

I can't believe it. 

I hurt him. 

I hurt him again. After I vowed that I would never do that anymore. I hurt him. 

I don't want to see him hurt, when I see him, hurt it hurts me too, it makes me want to gather him in my arms and cradle him, rock him until his sobs quieted down. 

I would want to punch the guy who would hurt him. But then, that would be me. And I can't punch myself. It won't hurt as much. 

Frankly I think I would've dealt it better if he was angry at me, I could've left with knowing that he'll be out to get me with a vengeance but that isn't the situation. He's crying. He's crying and hurting because of me and I can't take that because it's not fair. It's not fair for him. But then it's not fair for me either. 

Why the hell do I have to be so bloody confused? 

I'm not worthy of his love, I'll never be worthy of the pure angel that loved me with all his heart, mind and soul, he even gave me his body. How can I break... an angel's heart? I'm... a demon... I shouldn't deserve to live any longer... 

I don't want to leave him.

But I left him... for his sake. For his protection... for his future. For him. 

I gave him up... for him. 

Shit! That sounded more stupid than I thought it would. z

Damn it!!!

I want him back... but... 

What good will it do to be so selfish? 

I slowly walked around the corner, taking my last glimpse of the building I called home, the home of the person who owned my heart. And as I carried my bags, I shed one tear or two. And slowly but surely, took the steps towards a different life. 

One without him. 

One without me. 

**. : ~ "Five Years Later ..." ~ : . **

Kogure's POV

Five years, five years since he told me goodbye. Five years since he trashed my heart. Five years since I last saw him. 

Five long years. 

This is that same day... why can't I forget about him? It's always this way... I feel cold rage surge through my veins as my eyes focused on my hand. He's not worthy of me. I know it. Mitsui Hisashi is nothing in my life. But... why does it hurt so much knowing that he'll never be with me? 

A soft rapping on my door caught my attention. I straightened myself out, cold mask back in place, "Come in," I ordered softly, I knew it's my secretary, there is no doubt of it. 

Her voice was merely above a whisper as she bowed to me, her face not lifting as she told me her business, "Kogure-san... a man came a little while ago pleading that he have a meeting with you. I told him, sir, that he needed to get an appointment but he wouldn't listen. He added that it would be most likely only for a few minutes sir..." she stopped when I noticed that I had already stood up. I looked at her, scrutinizing her every movement. Then I opened my mouth to say a few words. 

" Aa, what was his name?" I asked her, my nonchalant voice sounding cold to my own ears. It was nice. Nice that I found strength in the cold. 

" He didn't leave a name sir, but I can tell you what he looked like," then she raised her eyes to look at me, a strange brightness filled her eyes, one of infatuation, "he was really good-looking, he had black hair and mysterious blue eyes. He had this air around him sir... and not to mention that his body was well toned..." 

I raised my eyebrow at this, girl talk. I never understood girls. But this really piqued my interest. This wasn't usual. 

"All right, hold all my calls for me, this will only take a few minutes I presume," I looked down at her. I never understood how girls could be so petite either. She nodded swiftly, I continued, "but in case, cancel the meeting that is scheduled for this afternoon." She nodded and moved out of my office in a snap. Maybe I scared her too much? 

I smirked at the thought. 

When I reached the lobby's cafe, I saw the man that was occupying my thoughts. I saw how nervous he was, I saw how badly he was shivering. 

I could not help but smirk even more but wiped it off as soon as I approached him. 

I sense fear. 

Fear, is not a problem. 

Mitsui's POV

" Mitsui-san," I heard a cold voice behind me say. It couldn't be... 

I turned my head to look at the person who called me, "Ko... Kogure?" Masaka... this isn't the man I loved. This couldn't be. This man was cold, pale and strong. This couldn't be my warm and nice Kiminobu... this... this... just couldn't be... but instead of saying anything, I stood up and conjured a ghost of a smile when he motioned for me to sit down across him with all due civility. I couldn't guess if he wanted to kill me or not. 

He was the one who started the conversation, "You look well, how've you been doing?" he asked disinterestedly, he didn't care. 

I tried hard not to stutter, "Me? Yeah... I'm the junior coach in Shohoku high among many other things." 

" So how is Anzai-sensei? I haven't visited Shohoku in a long while." That didn't sound so bad, seems like he really did care for Anzai-sensei. He's even showing that he cares, what with that little sparkle of interest in his eyes.

" Anzai-sensei? He's fine." I tried to say calmly, I was desperately failing.

The next question took me by surprise. I guess he really wanted to get whatever we had to do over and done with, "What do you want Mitsui-san?" he glared at me. I never realized... how cold he could get. 

" I just wanted to see how you are." 

" Cut the bull Mitsui, I want to know what you're here for, I'm a very busy man," Kogure said, his tone icier by the minute.

" Can't we talk about this some place more, private?" I tried hard to swallow the lump in my throat. 

He glared at me as though I were asking too much of a favor for him to fulfill but he sighed and pulled me through a door to a small room beside the lobby. He folded his arms and his mouth opened to form words, angry ones. "Well then, is this private enough you?" I gulped and nodded slightly, he raised his eyebrow, "Then talk!" 

Kogure's POV

Okay. I think I want to hear him explain. 

More importantly, I want to hear his lies so that I can finally get it done and over with because I don't want to think about him anymore, he's too much of a weakness. Weaknesses are failures waiting to happen. 

He coughed slightly, scuffing his toe on the floor. 

Kami, he has so many weaknesses. 

"Anou... I just... really... wanted to say how sorry I am... for... leaving... you like that..." he muttered, his face embarrassed and morose, "it's not like I meant to, I just had to do it." 

I smile hardly at him. "Sorry? Isn't it a bit too late for the word?" my words were dripping with venom. I try hard not to laugh an empty cold laugh. He is pathetic. 

" I still love you Min-kun," he whispered, not daring to look at my eyes.

Now how come those words affect me so much? 

My heart is thumping wildly now, I just want to give up to him. 

Why must it always be like this? 

Why am I so pathetic? 

Instead I laughed. I laughed the laugh I was containing. It sounded harsh, cold. I saw him wince. I try not to notice as I continued laughing. 

"Love? What is love?" I smiled at him cynically, "you don't think that I believe you right? I don't think you even know what love means. So what gives you the right to say that you love me when you don't even have an inkling to what that word denotes? It is simply illogical that you tell me you love me and expect me to fall head over heels for you once again, I cannot judge if your intentions to me are pure or if you're either after my money or after my body which I must push that I will not give to you willingly after you've broken me like that." 

His look was utterly devastating when he said his next words, "I'm really sorry Min-kun but I did it for you... for us..." 

I reeled back. What the hell did he say? 

"You're stating that it was for the better?" I blinked furiously. What the hell are you telling me Mitsui Hisashi? What the hell are these lies? 

"I didn't want your future to be uncertain because of me, you had such good opportunities. I didn't want to risk that, that bright future of yours by being called a fag, by being stuck to me. That would be unfair to you..." these words he said desperately. 

Okay. 

This is it. 

I'm seeing red. 

No, really. Everything's so red. 

I took a deep breath and let everything come out. All at the same time. 

" Oh! Then, to add insult, you decide what's right for my life, you decide what's good for me, you decide that I can't make my own decisions. What do you think I am, stupid? Excuse me Mitsui-san I am far smarter than you and by far more capable of making decisions... than you. Don't tell me what's good and not good for me. Don't you think it's true what they say, you'll never miss water till it's gone? You'll never want something until it's lost, never to return? I'm a new man now and well, I can't have that in m…" he didn't let me have a chance to finish. He kissed me, and I melted. 

It started off sweet. Gentle. His feelings being conveyed through the kiss. The warmth of the kiss melted my icy heart. I couldn't do anything until he started to probe with his tongue. I've missed this for far too long. 

So I answered his kiss. Opening my mouth to gasp for breath. 

Then it started. 

First his tongue entered my mouth, entangling with my own, battling with it. And soon my senses were knocked out of hand, my hands flew to his head, clinging onto him for more leverage, for more of his taste. I missed him. His hands were latched on my back in desperation, his actions telling me that he's been wanting this for so long, that he still loves me. 

The warmth... 

His warmth... 

My love. 

When he broke the kiss I groaned, not wanting to let go just yet. 

He put his forehead on mine and smiled. 

I love that smile. 

We paused for a little while, standing there in the janitor's closet, standing close with our foreheads pressed together. Gazing into each others eyes, I smiled. I closed my eyes to savor the moment of being in his arms once again. 

I never want to let go. 

"Now... tell me... that... you didn't want... that..." he gasped, the words short, lacking of breath. I heard myself starting to chuckle. I couldn't. I couldn't say it. 

Maybe... love IS sweeter the second time around. 

Yes, maybe. 

And it felt damn good. 

Mitsui's POV

TI looked at him, amazed at how his genuine laughter can make me feel so good inside. This was him. This was the man I loved, this is the man I love. 

I encircled my arms even tighter around him. I waited for his chuckles to subside. It felt nice to hear that laugh. 

" I still love you Min-kun," I whispered in his ear, my lips gently brushing through the lobe of my precious one's. 

I felt him smile into my shoulders as if repressing another laugh that was threatening to burst out once more. 

"Hmph, how would I know those aren't lies again Mitsui Hisashi?" I heard his say. It was a little muffled but I was sure I could hear the soft tinkling of amusement. I pulled our bodies apart and gently placed my lips over his. Then I rubbed our noses together affectionately. 

"I'm gonna change just for you Min-kun," I smiled, then he smiled. He then hugged me tight and let go just as quick. 

Then there was a melancholy look in his eyes telling me that it would simply break him if I left him again, "let's do this again... all right?" he whispered almost pleadingly, his hands gripping my shirt tightly. I clucked at him and shook my head. 

"Well... you see my dear.. there's nothing to start over again, what we had never really ended," I grinned this time, my eyes playing a mischievous light. He bit his lip in contained happiness and he turned around to leave. I reached out and grabbed his arm unconsciously. He turned to me and game me one of his stern looks. Then it softened. 

" I'll go upstairs first, I'll tell my secretary that I'm going to take the rest of the day off… and that I won't be coming for the rest of the week," he said this, giving me a little peck on the cheek, winked and left. I went out of the closet too, went to one of those little tables and ordered a cup coffee.

I couldn't believe my luck. 

Heh. 

You may have changed Kogure, but I have too. 

We're gonna get through this together, just you and me. 

Forever. 

Because it never ended. 

~owari~

whoohoo!! ^__________^ wai! wai wai! I made it! I'm aliiiive!!! wahahahaaaa... ^^;;; 

yeah... fine.fine. fine. fine. no more ranting. 

*pout* 

I command you to C&C... wahahahaa... joke... joke... joke... . no!!!! 


End file.
